:: Whenever I alphabetize things, I always think of higher letters in the alphabet as somehow superior. I think this stems back to always being at the front of the line because my maiden name started with a “B.” Now, I can’t help but think that as an “A,” I win.
:: Since the little man was born, I haven’t spent as much time seeking out new music. It felt like a luxury, something I didn’t have time for anymore. It took me two years to realize the flaw in that thinking.
I can’t sing. I don’t play any instruments. I can’t really dance with any precision or grace (or without alcohol in public). But, music is often something I can literally feel wash over me. There is something about the combination of words and unique succession of notes that feel like a hug to me, a big blanket that curls up around my shoulders and holds me up. And, I seem to collect people that feel the same way about music that I do.
My proudest moment so far as a parent is that I am raising a son that feels this way. Cade will often break out dancing in the beautiful awkward attempt at keeping with the music anytime he hears a song come on….television, radio, something I am playing for him…it doesn’t matter. Sometimes he doesn’t even notice, and other times he will look at me with a huge smile. I just love that about him.
So, I am going to give myself a “free pass” for a while and collect songs that make me happy. Not focus on the money of it, but on the rest of it instead. Like this one by a new-to-me band, Fun.
:: There is a trend of marriages separating (both with impending permanent separations and because of deployments) that I am noticing with several of the blogs I am reading. It makes my heart hurt for people that I have never met but feel like I know. I feel like I am witnessing something private that I shouldn’t be able to see as I watch them try to find words to explain how their lives are inexplicably changing and still try to stay on track with the “purpose” of their space when I know that these situations must really be taking all of their focus right now.
I want to go give them all hugs. And, it makes me pray for the continued strength of my marriage and to hope as hard as I can that we can keep my husband out of harm’s way again.
:: And, posts like this one are resonating particularly right now (thanks Melia) as I try to figure out what I need to do to make my body feel more like “home” and less like a “cheap rental.” To remember that I too created a tiny human from scratch, feed him almost exclusively for a year, and have a husband who loves me for what I am, not just what I want to be.