Today was a rough day. I am still dealing with a super tough case of after-Christmas blues that are likely explained by the fact that I miss my brother like crazy, and the tiny dictator running around my house acts very much like Ryan did when he was his age. And, he looks just like him, which makes it particularly hard. And, if you don’t believe me, guess who this is….
But anyways, so today was a rough day. The little man is super cranky and a wee bit sickly, and I find myself in that in-between phase where I am not really sure if I should take him to the doctor or if this is just teething because, you know, he is the world’s worst teether!
That combined with the fact that he is two after all hasn’t been much fun lately. “No” is definitely his favorite word, and he doesn’t just say it. He expels it at you from across the room. He even rolls the “n,” which I didn’t even know was possible!
But, I really wanted to post today, so I was trying to take pictures of him, which he used to love, and I really hoped that he would always be that kid that cheesed it up for the camera, but lately he avoids all camera shots if possible. So, I decided to take a picture of the part of him that was still for the moment.
And, this is what I got. Strong little legs in cute little shoes hiding those tiny perfect little feet that are really still tiny but so much bigger than the miniscule little ones that came home from the hospital.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to use that picture for my thankful moment for today because I wasn’t sure it would be what I wanted to capture today. So, when I had gotten to the end of the day and this was the best thing I had captured, I thought I was just going to blow the post off (again).
And, then I got a little gift from my RSS reader: this post from Karen Russell [Karen is one of the bloggers I referenced in my last post. Her husband is deployed right now, and she has been having a hard time in general lately]. Karen posted today about having an ah-ha moment after reading this post from Glennon over at Momastery. So, I followed the little worm-trail the interweb offered me today, and I was reminded to remember.
Glennon’s post is amazing, and it deeply resonates with me for so many reasons. I too have had a hard time with people telling me that I should enjoy every minute of mothering. And, I too find myself getting stuck in the chronos of the day, as Glennon calls it (that she puts it in rhetorical terms just makes my heart go pitter-pat): the number of minutes it takes to fight to put on shoes, how many slow bites of breakfast will be eaten, the thousands of seconds till daddy gets home and changes the odds. I have always had the problem of getting stuck in the minutiae of the day, and that didn’t magically change when I had a baby.
So, in the chronos-induced haze I find myself in these days in particular, I couldn’t see how cool this picture of those strong little legs in those cute little shoes would be. But, looking back at this picture from a kairotic point of view just a few hours later, I already love it. And, that was before I had even thought to compare it to the little toes from when he was just a month old.
So, today, I am so very thankful for being reminded to capture the moment. For taking the time to capture my moment of Kairos for today, even if it was just strong little legs in cute little shoes hiding perfect tiny feet lounging on the couch.